Concerning Vows – Numbers 30

“² If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. ³ “Or if a woman makes a vow to the Lord, and binds herself by some agreement while in her father’s house in her youth, ⁴ and her father hears her vow and the agreement by which she has bound herself, and her father holds his peace, then all her vows shall stand, and every agreement with which she has bound herself shall stand. ⁵ But if her father overrules her on the day that he hears, then none of her vows nor her agreements by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the Lord will release her, because her father overruled her.

⁶ “If indeed she takes a husband, while bound by her vows or by a rash utterance from her lips by which she bound herself, ⁷ and her husband hears it, and makes no response to her on the day that he hears, then her vows shall stand, and her agreements by which she bound herself shall stand. ⁸ But if her husband overrules her on the day that he hears it, he shall make void her vow which she took and what she uttered with her lips, by which she bound herself, and the Lord will release her.   ⁹ “Also any vow of a widow or a divorced woman, by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her.

¹⁰ “If she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound herself by an agreement with an oath,¹¹ and her husband heard it, and made no response to her and did not overrule her, then all her vows shall stand, and every agreement by which she bound herself shall stand. ¹² But if her husband truly made them void on the day he heard them, then whatever proceeded from her lips concerning her vows or concerning the agreement binding her, it shall not stand; her husband has made them void, and the Lord will release her. ¹³ Every vow and every binding oath to afflict her soul, her husband may confirm it, or her husband may make it void. ¹⁴ Now if her husband makes no response whatever to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all the agreements that bind her; he confirms them, because he made no response to her on the day that he heard them. ¹⁵ But if he does make them void after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt.”

¹⁶ These are the statutes which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, and between a father and his daughter in her youth in her father’s house.”

As testimony I have to confess to you that as a young Christian one of the things that disappointed me the most, was after I volunteer myself to do something that my husband out of sudden didn’t wanted me to do it, or stopped me from going, or maybe out of the sudden decided he needed to do something and I couldn’t use the one car we had or he couldn’t keep the kids. I felt as a grown up woman, if I wanted to do something that I believe I could do, I just commit myself to it, and who could say something about it, right?

It was “shameful” for me than as an adult, (not a child anymore that is submitted to the parents), I couldn’t fulfill my commitment just because my husband or what I felt “my owner” simply didn’t wanted me to! “But it’s a vow! I promised!” “I NEED to fulfill it, or I’ll be guilty!  I’m not disrespectful or unreliable” All of these statement clogged my mind; pushing me more down.  Hurting me, my marriage and of all my loved ones around me.

I wish I could have learned this teaching I’m sharing with you today, in the younger years of my marriage! Because the truth is until then, I lived frustrated!!! How come I didn’t read this before??? That was my question!!!  For this even in Moses time was already happening that’s why this chapter talks about it.

One of the things we can see is that when people talk, we are binding ourselves with our words, and the vows we make, it shall indeed not be broken. Now, this chapter, specifically talks about the woman who makes a vow, because only women have the capacity of having two different seasons in life with two different male authorities over her. What I mean is that when a woman is young and lives at her parents, her father is the authority over her, like “her master”. When a woman gets marry, her husband becomes the authority of the home and therefore, hers too.  Although GOD is always above us, it was GOD Himself who designed the man to be the authority in the home; in case the woman is not married the authority over her belongs to the father or to the husband if she is.

We have to understand that we will not be guilty if out of obedience and in submission to our father (in the case of a single woman) or to our husband (in the case the woman is married), we do not comply with the promise we’ve made.  Because we are under the father/husband submission, our “coverage” protects us against any established punishment for not complying with the vow. In some of those cases, the guilty party IS NOT the woman.  

Let this be a breath of fresh air to you for although this IS NOT a “wild” card, for you to start making commitments to the right or to the left.  IT IS a “Get out of Jail” card for those cases when we oppress ourselves trying to accomplish things are not ours to do; we can be released by the grace of God. 

The next time you want to help in a church activity and your husband says “no!” do not be ashamed! Keep your head on high, and be honest to those who might question your decision. Showing your obedient and submitted character by sharing that “the lord” over you is not too happy about you being a part in such activity, will speak volumes about your love for God, and submission to Him and HIS Word. Avoiding confrontation in a marriage is a must, and when you’ve done what GOD wants you to do, submit to the husband’s will, GOD will pay back to you in LARGE.

I guarantee you, the impact you will have in some women will bring them closer to God, and although the glory is for God, it was your testimony what lead them to obey Him.

I pray next time the Lord says go for it, you go for it, but in the cases you’ve gone too far and the authority over you says no, I pray you swallow the pride, and immediately pray for the authority over you.  I pray for the Lord to help us as women under submission to HIM above all, to give us strength and courage to follow what HE says to do, when HE says to, not when we want to. And I pray the Lord let us realize our children are looking at us, for the behavior they will adopt in the near future, either to be humble and dedicated wives towards our husbands, or disrespectful woman who challenge God’s authority, pushing the man over us to anger and consequently sin in maybe even “greater” ways. I pray for the glory of God in JESUS name, AMEN!!!